Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Strange Day......

It was my intention to be a little more spiritual today. I haven't really been able to pay any attention to that aspect of my life during the past few months, what with the moving, travelling and all. So, on the occasion of Angarika Sankashti, I fasted as normal and prayed for all those I love and cherish. I meant to break my fast after looking at the moon, but I'm glad I didn't wait. It's nearly 10 pm and I still cannot see the moon. Now that I'm addicted to coffee, I find that I have the mother of all headaches on Sankashti, brought on, no doubt, by the combined lack of blood sugar and caffeine. I resisted taking tablets, but by 3 pm the headache was so severe I didn't think I could drive to school safely.
The kids were really upset today. I picked R up early because he was sick. It has been a strange mood in the house - all three of us were missing Dublin a lot, but not saying it for the fear of upsetting the others. Then at bedtime, the kids were telling me how they really, really, REALLY miss GV and this school just doesn't compare. I try to be strong for them and tell them things I'm not sure I believe in yet. I don't even know if I sound half as convincing as I like. I miss Dublin too, but my heart bleeds for my kids when they have tears in their eyes. I cannot bear to see ocular humidity as far as they are concerned.
Didn't get much accomplished today - not that I was planning to do much. Wendy dropped in and I made dinner, but nothing much besides. Yet, the day has gone very busy and I'm wrecked. Looking forward to my cup of Java tomorrow am.
Socially, I was a hermit. I managed to speak to a few mothers at the school all these days, but today I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. Just wanted to pick M up (I'd missed her more than ever today) and crawl back under my rock. It was a beautifully warm and sunny day though. I remember thinking as I drove to school, if this were Lucan, I'd be so excited about the sun shining. Here I cannot summon any enthusiasm. Just hoping all this is temporary.

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